4th of July Fun!

After many 4th of July gatherings and parades were canceled last year, we’re getting back to normal… sort of! The following are several tips to prepare your family for a traditional July 4th celebration, as well as tips for some of the new issues that may arise due to the reduced exposure to group interaction during this pandemic.  

Give Everyone Grace

While this should be true anytime, it has definitely been my own personal motto/mantra throughout this Covid-19 pandemic. The entire world is experiencing simultaneous trauma. Every single person, child, family, and community group will react to these experiences differently. Some people will be excited to jump right back into large, boisterous social gatherings. Others may be more hesitant and prefer to keep with smaller groups in outdoor environments. BOTH ARE OK! We should honor each other’s comfort levels and give one another grace and compassion. 

Professional Fireworks Displays

Many children are quite fearful of large firework displays. They are loud. They can be crowded. They are late at night when kids are often overly tired. This combination causes many children to have strong fear reactions to firework displays.  

First, discuss with your family if attending a large professional firework display is even a priority. Just because it is the traditional thing to do, does not mean that you have to participate. My family has never been a huge fan of firework displays and the crowds that accompany them. We are much more likely to set up a lawn chair in our driveway and watch professional displays in the distance. But, if you would like to attend a professional display in person, here are a few tips to help prepare your child:  

• Watch the professional display from an empty parking lot a bit away from the main display.  There will be fewer crowds and less noise. Win, win.  
• Watch videos of fireworks, starting with a very low volume, then increasing volume to a medium/loud volume to help with desensitization to the sudden explosions.   
• Bring ear protection. These can be anything from those little spongy ear plugs, to the noise blocking headphones used at gun shooting ranges.  
• Don’t forget your insect repellant! If you are concerned that the application of the spray may be yet another new sensation to overwhelm your young person, it may be a good idea to practice applying spray, such as a water mist, a few times in the weeks before spraying sunscreen or bug spray is a necessity. 

Personal Fireworks Use

The National Safety Council recommends leaving firework displays to the professionals. In 2017, they report that over 12,000 people in the United States were injured badly enough from fireworks to require medical attention. However, if you do choose to set off your own display, you should first check your local city ordinances as to what days and times the use of personal fireworks is allowed (if at all), as well as what types of fireworks are legal. Nothing says “I’m breaking the law,” more than a loud bang and a bright flash of colorful light! Some of the NSC’s recommendations also include:

• Never allow young children to handle fireworks, and older children should always be closely supervised by an adult. 
• Never use fireworks while impaired by drugs or alcohol.
• Only use fireworks away from people, houses, and flammable materials.
• Only light one device at a time. 
• Never attempt to re-light or handle malfunctioning fireworks.  
• Soak spent & unused fireworks in water for a few hours before discarding. 
• Have a large bucket of water nearby. 
• Never use illegal fireworks.  

The NSC cautions that sparklers can be dangerous, too. Sparklers alone account for 25% of emergency room visits due to firework injuries. With burning at about 2000 degrees (hot enough to melt some metals), sparklers can ignite clothing and severely burn skin. 

Especially with younger children, consider home display alternatives such as:

• Glow sticks
• Sidewalk chalk
• Catching fireflies
• Running through the sprinkler
• Water squirter fight
• Water balloon fight
• Light up versions of games such as corn hole, frisbee, badminton, etc.
• Fire pit with s’mores, hot dogs, etc.
• Flashlight tag
• Make special red/white/blue sweet treats
• Decorate the yard with colorful string lights

Along with the philosophy of everyone giving everyone grace, don’t forget to be kind to your neighbors with any home firework displays. Neighbors may be veterans with PTSD, children with sensory sensitivities, or fearful pets. Your local firework stand can help you choose quieter items. And, if you prefer that loud BOOM, consider finding a spot out in a more rural area for your celebration. 

Water Safety

Many people choose to head to the lake or local public/private pool to cool off on what is traditionally a very hot holiday. Water activities require an additional set of precautions to keep your family safe.  Here are several scary statistics from the American Red Cross:

• Drowning is responsible for more deaths in young children (1-4 years) than any other cause of death except for birth defects. 
• Drowning is the leading cause of death for individuals with autism (both for children as well as adults with ASD), with children on the autism spectrum being 160 times more likely to experience drowning or near drowning than their typically developing peers .
• For every child who dies from drowning, another 5 receive emergency care for nonfatal submersion injuries.  
• Children younger than 5 years are most likely to drown in home pools or hot tubs.  
• Children 5-17 years of age are most likely to drown in a natural body of water such as a pond or a lake. 

In addition, the American Red Cross states that childhood drownings/near drownings are often not due to a lack of adult supervision. Rather, these incidents are the result of a lapse of adult supervision. Therefore, it is important for adults  to communicate with each other as to who is currently responsible for supervision, or, better yet, swim where there is a lifeguard on duty to help supplement adult supervision.  

Social Skills with Family Gatherings

Children often feel apprehensive with large gatherings of extended family members. So much so that I’ve even blogged about this in pre-pandemic times on my Holiday Chaos Blog. To summarize, yet again, give everyone grace. Yes, children should be taught to be polite, kind, share, take turns, have proper manners, etc. But kids are just kids. They are still in the learning process. However, the fact that they are “just kids” is not an excuse for rudeness or to be poor guests. Here are few tips to make a social gathering run more smoothly with kiddos in tow:

• Practice makes perfect. Really reinforce the one or two social skills of concern in the weeks prior to the group gathering. This would include politeness, sharing, taking turns, social greetings, table manners, etc.  
• Practice the polite, “No thank you.” Large gatherings are often overwhelming. This is probably NOT the best time to try new things. Insisting on your child trying a new food or a new activity is likely to cause much anxiety. But saying, “Eww, gross!” or, “That’s weird!” is not exactly polite. Depending on the age and language skills of your child, have him/her practice saying, “No thank you,” “Not right now,” “Maybe in a minute,” etc. to politely remove themselves from uncomfortable situations. 
• Practice social greetings. I am a big proponent that children should not be “made” to hug anyone. A hug is a very personal experience, especially for children who may be on the autism spectrum, or those with social anxiety. Hi five? Wave? Fist bump? These are also appropriate greetings. Practicing these skills is particularly important for those with social anxieties. And, as with all skills, the more you practice them in a variety of situations, the easier they will become. On the reverse, some children (and adults) can be overly hug-y. Depending on the social situation, this can be equally uncomfortable. Talk with your child about “the rules” for your family, whatever they may be. AND, parents need to rehearse these tricky social exchanges as well. Unlike when Susie forgets to clear her plate, a verbal reminder often doesn’t solve social awkwardness. Therefore, parents need to practice how they, themselves, will react if Susie hides and refuses to greet Grandma, or if Susie is on her tenth round of hugging every single person in the room. How we parents react in these situations can help alleviate the present awkwardness and set up more positive social interactions for the future.
• Set realistic expectations. One of the best ways to prevent cranky children is to make sure that they are well-fed, hydrated, and well-rested. If a child’s bedtime is usually 7:30pm, then expecting a happy child for a firework display at 9:30 might not be realistic.  

The light at the end of the tunnel is upon us! I hope everyone has a joyful and safe Fourth of July holiday!

Resources

Red Cross Drowning Prevention and Facts 

Red Cross Home Pool Safety

Red Cross Lake River Safety

National Safety Council Summer Safety with Fireworks

About the Author

Melissa Foster is a Nationally Board Certified Occupational Therapist who received her Masters in Occupational Therapy from University of Central Arkansas in 2004. She came to Children’s Therapy T.E.A.M. in 2013 with a wealth of treatment experience in settings that range from clinical experience in Northwest Arkansas (NWA) to Kansas to New York. Her primary interests are treatment of children on the Autism Spectrum, treatment of children with ADHD and treatment of children with sensory processing and behavioral disorders. Melissa is an active public speaker in the NWA community on topics related to Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder. She has authored several resource materials for parents on topics such as picky eating and toys to promote development. Her blogs address topics of interest to parents and have become a popular resource for families. Melissa loves spending time with her husband and their two children. On warm summer days she enjoys sitting on her patio with a good book and a glass of iced tea.